day 1.

Day 1. I decided to write my thoughts every morning, day or night of this tour.  Yesterday was really day 1 though.  Since it was a traveling day, and given I had not slept the night before, I decided to have today as my day 1. who really cares? who really reads this?  Lately, I have been feeling completely disconnected from this body I journey in.  See, I have this mind, this mind that constantly is in the motion of understanding life better.  It is always going, and even when sleeping it doesn’t stop.  See, I know someone out there will say something you need meditation, and you need relaxation and so many other things, and I am aware of it all, and that’s usually what I do to get my head in a better space, get my life going, do the things I love.  As of lately, I feel tired.  Tired of so many things that are both out of my control and in my control.  I get frustrated and doubtful of who I am and where I am.  How did I get here?  I am a fraud. Yes, I said it, a Fraud.  I wonder what I am.  Who I am.  I know this is a phase.  Or is it?  I know this will be better soon? Or will it?  I think I am fulfilling my purpose in this life.  I think.  I am a rational human being, always looking for the best answers for me, and others, wishing that the human race would elevate better, ride that wave of the best light that can be possibly found in a human on a daily basis.  Not because it is the end of the world, just because the end is still not here.  You know what gets me rattled up? That there are people out there that can’t eat, because they suffer from mental illnesses, and are found in the streets because we cannot provide a better system for the sick and because the world at large has tremendous social issues, creating in some of the most advanced places on earth, the worst social conditions resulting in high suicide rates, murders, rapes, child abandonment, etc.  Woo. that was a mouthful.  I believe my words are impactful, they allow questioning to happen, true, and to the best of my knowledge inspiring.  Well, there it goes.  I sprinkled some lack of confidence, with some depression, added a little bit of sadness and anger, and now back to being hopeful.  Welcome to my brain on Day 1.

 

G&L

Los Angeles, October 23rd 2019 9.15 am

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