A very long time ago, I found words, well they found me. I was never the kid who loved reading. I was a TV kid. I was a Nintendo kid. Words found me in my early teen, through all kinds of books, magazines, graphic novels, and more. A bit later, and through the conversational exchanges, the weight of words found me, causing me to cautiously weigh words before use. My more recent finding is the importance of timing at which words are uttered or thought about. It’s determining; the weight and the timing.
No written words have been put down in two days. This feeling of disappointment lurks in, as a promise is broken. Too often, I find myself in a ‘broken record’ predicament. Excuses are made up, instead of finding solutions. All I know is that I want to be better than yesterday.
Two days ago, a decision was made that led to lazyness. One day ago, another decision was made that was led by the heart and disregarded any rational decision-making. I am only human. What does THAT mean? Does it render an idea that my human capabilities are very limited, to the point that I cannot keep a simple promise to myself? I guess, partly.
Humans don’t talk enough about the words our minds are constantly whispering. Kept to ourselves most of the time, these whispers are like the notes on an infinite staff. Just a thought. Or is it a multitude of words? Are thoughts and non-uttered words the same? Perhaps they are. At least in the mind, words are constantly free-flowing. No excuses. “Keep finding a way to put down your thoughts on paper,” I say to myself. Therefore, I am.
Here’s a disclaimer though, there are no regrets, just disappointment for not keeping a promise made to the most important person; me. I am better than that. I want to be better than yesterday, so here I am twoday, and in hopes that I will see another day to write, and play.